The main thing we’re going to do about golf and tennis is
repeal the silly rules they have about being quiet. These are sporting events,
not church services. If golfers and tennis players can’t deal with the
distractions of noise, they aren’t athletes.
Let me put it this way: a baseball player can deal with a
95mph fastball while 50,000 people scream at him, but a golfer is too delicate
to hit a stationary ball if somebody in the gallery sneezes?
The People like to cheer and boo at sporting events, and when I’m running things, They shall. If a heckler wants to loudly tell nasty
jokes about Tiger Woods (for example, Q: What's the difference between a golf
ball and a Cadillac Escalade? A: Tiger can drive the golf ball 400 yards) while
Woods is trying to putt, that’s fine with the Commissar. Though we may draw the
line at Q: Why didn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market? A: Because
Tiger was always bringing home crabs.
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